Stockholm has turned environmental transparency into public art. Along the waterfront, sculptural displays show real-time air and water quality data, reminding citizens that clean rivers and clean air require constant effort. Britain, meanwhile, continues to grapple with sewage discharges, polluted rivers and sluggish infrastructure investment. What if similar public displays monitored the health of the Thames or the Windrush in real time? Visible data could increase public pressure on water companies and regulators alike. Transparency shapes behaviour: what is measured publicly is harder to ignore. Perhaps a little public embarrassment — even a visible “shitshow” — might finally drive cleaner water and cleaner politics.